Apologise
by Lupin3Black
Summary: Sometimes Sirius does some things wrong, but they all have valid reasons. But he loves Moony with all his heart, as broken as that is, and that's what matters right? SBRL Slash. Fluffy, angsty. Read and Review please. MWPP era.


**One-shot**

**A/N hey guys! I'll not be updating any of my usual fics until next Thursday when the poll is closed, but expect some unusual one-shots from yours truly. ;)**

**~Lupin3Black**

**P.S I seen the hottest bloke alive today working in tescos. He looked like the love child of James, Remus and Sirius. Not physically possible but *drool* he had James's hazel eyes and glasses, Remus's blondish-brownish hair with a scar on his jaw and Sirius's cheekbones and mischievous smirk. Honestly, I followed him around the shop for an hour.**

James scowled fiercely at a smirking Sirius, how come he didn't realise how much of an absolute idiot he was? Top class Tosser honestly! How every blasted minute he spent flirting with girls (or more commonly known as the grffyndor sluts with the boobs hanging out having had their breasts pumped so large they rested somewhere around their pierced ears) in front of his small innocent boyfriend hurt him? James loved Sirius,he was a bloody git but he loved him, he was his literal brother from another mother, but he could be a real true bastard at times.

Remus, wasn't his brother, he loved him to bits but Remus was so fragile James secretly referred to him as his male sister. But merlin knows if the lycanthrope heard him say that James would lose a part of his body that he'd really love to keep. And that every time Sirius so much as winked at another girl and eyed certain body parts of them Remus would lower his head in shame and blink back pearly tears.

"What, mate?" Sirius grinned at him lewdly through a mouthful of chewed eggs, he wrapped an arm around Remus's shoulders and pulled the small boy practically onto his lap, he looked adorably affectionate but he subtly glanced at Mary Mc Donald. He smirked when he saw her forced cooing and pressed a light kiss to Remus's reddish cheek, revelling in the high-pitched girly squeals that emitted from the surrounding fangirls.

Remus stood abruptly, and Sirius frowned at him irritably, "Remmie? You okay?" Sirius asked politely, but he didn't ask, not really, his voice was too sugary, too nice, it was lacking the actual concern or the hint of boyish mischief it always took on.

Remus glanced down at him blankly and stepped gracelessly over the wooden mahogany lunch bench, for a moment James could see the despair flickering on his handsome face, his eyes were watery and Lily Evans frowned at him, obviously concerned. Remus willed himself not to let them see him cry, forced a smile that didn't quite reach his exquisite amber eyes and said, "Just going to the library."

Sirius grinned at him, not noticing the tears or at least if he did, not showing that he had or not caring and leaned up to whisper in his ear loud enough for everyone else to hear, "Don't keep me waiting."

Remus usually would have smiled just as lewdly or winked boyishly, he now just flushed and looked near the edge of tears. Remus walked quickly towards the door, books in one shaking hand whilst muttering French under his breath and Sirius turned back to the expectant table that Remus had just vacated before he could see Remus wipe his eyes.

James scowled at him again and cuffed him hard over the head. Lily looked appalled and even the girls surrounding them (whom Lily was sitting with because she would never voluntarily sit beside Potter) seemed slightly upset. Sirius looked at James in the eyes and for a minute James could see sadness lurking in the pits of his silver eyes before he smirked, "What's wrong with him?" He said loudly and rudely.

James took a deep breath, "If you don't know, I can't tell you." Oh yes, that's right, Sirius hadn't bothered to show up at the shrieking shack two nights ago, James hadn't been able to go because he'd been attending his grandaunt's funeral and Peter couldn't handle the wolf on his own so Remus told him to go when Sirius hadn't shown up. James shuddered, recalling the bloody, bruised mess of a body they had found in the hospital wing yesterday morning. Three long scars had developed, running from his jawline to his cheekbone. Apparently it was from the werewolf's own claws when he couldn't find an escape root to exit the small house.

James glared at Sirius and turned to the girls beside them, "Fuck off." He snarled, to Lily included and when they all just stared at him shocked, he jumped up and grabbed Sirius's arm in a fierce hold, "Grow up." He growled, flinging him away in pure disgust and storming out. Lily jumped up and quickly followed.

James was fuming, Sirius was intelligent right? So how was he so thick that he didn't see how much he was hurting Remus? Idiot! Blasted idiot! He was so caught up in his ranting he didn't notice Lily scurrying beside him until she stepped in front of him and he walked straight into her. James didn't pause a beat, he grabbed her by the narrow waist and span her to behind him, "Sorry Lily." He mumbled absentmindedly before turning on his heel and walking in his original direction; the library.

Lily stared in shock at his retreating back, he hadn't even called her Evans..."Potter! Potter wait!" She called, James stopped and looked at her impatiently, his hazel eyes frantic behind his glasses.

"Yes? I'm busy Lily." He said, he wasn't rude per-say more like sharp, like he was in a hurry.

"Where are you going?" She asked, her brows furrowing together, she'd never seen him so tense before...

"You stopped me to ask that? Idiot! Lily! I'm going to see Remus before he does something stupid!" He snapped, turning on his heel and sprinting towards the library.

Lily stared after him in shock, she needed to go talk to that bastard named Black, then she needed to slap Potter hard for calling her an Idiot.

"Remus?" James called softly, stepping into the quiet library and smiling graciously when madame Pince pointed without a word into a secluded corner behind a large bookshelf, he stepped around the corner and spotted the small fifth year boy surrounded by towers of wobbling books, wiping furiously at his leaking eyes with his sleeves, James took a hanker-chief that his mother made him carry around with him, from his pocket and handed it to the boy who accepted it gratefully.

"Hey buddy, how's it going?" He asked softly, like one would a timid child or a skittish animal.

Remus glared at him, pushing the chair opposite him out with his foot and motioning for James to sit down, "I'm not a child James. Don't patronise me."

James nodded intelligently, "Not quite sure what that means mate, but I'll try. So how're you feeling?"

Remus averted his golden eyes and concentrated on the half-written essay in front of him, gripping his inky quill so hard his scarred knuckled turned white and the spine broke in pieces, "I have absolutely no idea what your talking about, I am completely well."

"You know what I'm talking about mate, so I'll ask again. How. Are. You?" James's tone turned stricter, one Remus was more likely to respond to rather than the kind musing voice. He knew from experience that Remus preferred facts and statistics than tea, biscuits and beating around the bush.

Remus sighed heavily and dropped the badly-created facade, his eyes softened - little and his grip on the quill turned slack, he looked up and James's saw how sad and tired the 15-year old actually was. There was dark purple bruise-like bags under his teary eyes and his hair greyed at the tips, his fresh scars were jagged and an angry red colour under the neat stitches.

"I...I dunno James, I want to say that I don't love him, that I don't care when he looks up and down other people like he could just snog them on the spot right in front of me, or that I really don't mind when he actually does snog other people right in front of me, but we both know that I'd be lying." Remus confessed, lowering his weary head onto his smooth hands as a stray tear ran down his cheek, "I'm sorry, I'm pathetic."

"Your not Moony, defiantly not, your in love, it ruins the best of us." James smiled albeit a bit ruefully and patted the smaller boys head, giving his feathery hair a brotherly ruffle as he did so. This was his male little sister, he mused, he would protect him to the end.

"Do you know-" Remus swallowed and blushed, not looking up from his palms, "That when we're alone, doing er-things, he doesn't kiss me. He's never once kissed me when nobody's looking."

James's face took on a sympathetic glance as Remus looked back up, "Tell me honestly, do you think he loves me? Do you think he even likes me?"

"I-"

"Of course I do Remmie! Why would you say that?" That-that voice was back again, sickly sweet and surrounded by admirers. Remus would rather cold and scathing, or hard and cruel than this.

This was the voice that haunted his every nightmare. Sleeping and awake.

"Don't Sirius." His own voice was quiet and pleading, "Please don't!"

"What are you on about Remmie? Of course I love you!" The girls surrounded Sirius giggled and held onto various bits of him, one even dared to whisper in his ear, "He's pathetic, I can do a much better job?" Sirius smirked and Remus let out a whimper and stood.

"Please stop. I can't-please stop." He hated how pathetic he sounded, how much the girl was right.

He was pathetic.

She could do a much better job.

"Stop what Rem-"

"Leave it Sirius." James interjected finally, coming to stand behind Remus and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, removing it when the younger boy flinched violently.

"What's it to you James? I'd never hurt my Rem!" Sirius snarled, crossing his arms across his chest while the girls whispered frantically amongst themselves.

"Please, I'm begging you Sirius." Remus's voice was almost a whisper and tears were falling fast and thick.

"C'mon Rem, stop being like this." Sirius snapped and Remus flinched. James took a step forward menacingly.

"Fuck off, Sirius."

Remus scurried forward and slipped past them all, Sirius automatically chased him into the hall.

"Remus!" He yelled, his voice sounded panicky and desperate in the empty hallway, Remus ran faster, his quiet sobs echoing off the walls.

"Please."

"REMUS!" Sirius yelled louder and Remus turned, his face dripping with tears, it broke Sirius's heart to see him this way, it burned his soul to know he was the reason for it.

"Please, I'm begging you, please pretend I matter to you. That I matter enough for you to break up with me. I don't want to-to do this anymore."

Sirius gathered Remus is his arms, he was so frail, so damn frail and it was all his fault, the lycanthrope protested feebly but made no real attempt to escape. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought-I don't know Remus, I-I don't know." He rocked back and forth, he wasn't sure if the the gesture was supposed to comfort him or Remus, he wasn't sure if it was working for either of them.

"D-do you love me?" Remus asked, his voice muffled by the fabric of Sirius's robe. Sirius opened his mouth when he noticed the gaggle of girls gawking at them, they started all this, god he would kill them if Remus left him.

"Fuck off!" He bellowed and Remus whimpered, trying desperately to fight Sirius's embrace and Sirius realised with a heart-stopping moment that he thought he meant him, the girls obviously thought he meant Remus too as they didn't move.

"Not you Remus, not you. Them, if they don't go I won't be completely in control of my actions." Sirius said quietly but loud enough for the horde of sluts to hear and scatter. Still, in case of stragglers Sirius scooped Remus in his arms and lifted him to a nearby abandoned classroom despite his quiet protest, kicking open the door he stepped in,

He settled Remus on a nearby desk and took his hands.

"D-do you love me?" Remus asked again, his voice shaking from uncertainty and fear of what the answer could be.

"Why do you ask that? Why do you ask that when you know how much it adore you?" Sirius said, wrapping his arms around the shaking lycanthrope.

"B-but you flirt, with other girls, a-and you s-sleep with people. W-who aren't m-me." Remus sobbed harder and Sirius felt guilty. He thought he slept with them? He couldn't even if he tried! All those nights he was missing he was studying, he knows how much of an excuse that sounds but it's completely true! He knows how smart Remus is, how amazingly talented he is at everything he attempts and he just wanted to make him proud! To be able to have an intellectual conversation with him and not be confused.

Was it so bad, so suspicious that this happened?

"I never sleep with them, I've never even kissed them, I don't flirt, I mock them in a way that's slightly flirty. Believe me Remus when I say I've never ever cheated on you. I only look at their boobs when they flaunt them in my face, I always look disgusted! Do you never see it?" Sirius protested, Remus hung his head.

He could never bring himself to look.

"You never kiss me. Not when we're alone." Remus whispers, gazing at Sirius with innocence written all over his amber eyes that glistened with tears. Sirius was pleased to note that the tears had stopped falling as thick.

"I don't-I don't wanna rush you. I made you sleep with me, and I felt so guilty afterwards, because I never asked if it was what you wanted. Kissing-kissing's so intimate, so powerful, I didn't know if you were ready for it." Sirius confessed, his own grey eyes locked on those in front of him. He reached one hand up and stroked Remus's scarred cheek,

"I'm so sorry for missing the full moon." Sirius whispered, his soft voice filling the room that had fallen silent, "But I was so worried about you, I'm so over protective that when I see the wolf hurting you, the canine in me wants to kill it, but I couldn't kill it because it's you, your moony and I couldn't hurt you. Not intentionally."

Remus lent into Sirius's touch and closed his eyes, his blonde lashes catching the light from the cracked lampshade, Sirius couldn't believe how beautiful he truly was.

"I'm sorry, for not trusting you." Remus whispered, "How did you find me?"

Sirius flinched and raised the hand that wasn't fondling Remus's face to his own cheek and wincing as he applied some pressure, he had to give it to the red-head, she had some back-hand. "Lily, she's...feisty. Made me realise a few things."

Remus opened one eye curiously, "Like what?"

Sirius took a deep breath, surely Remus was ready now, right?

"Like how much I want to do this." Sirius lent down, and closed his own eyes, his lips touched against Remus's gently, not moving but still passionate, like sparks were exploding behind his eyes, his hands settled, one leaning on the creaky wooden desk (he prayed to merlin that it wouldn't collapse with his added weight) the other cupping Remus's heart-shaped face gently, toying with the edges of Remus's hair.

Remus smiled gently against his mouth and moved his own lips, running his fingers through Sirius's thick dark hair. His legs that dangled above the ground as they didn't quite the floor wrapped around Sirius's thin waist, he moved his lips gently and Sirius let out a squeak of surprise but mimicked the movement quickly.

Just the two short movements were enough to stop his heart from pumping the blood around his body and then kicking it back into overdrive. Sporadic bursts of his favourite colours exploded behind his closed eyes as Remus moved his soft lips again and used his short skinny legs to draw him closer to his own bod, he could feel an electric current pulsing between the both of them.

"God, I love you so damn much Remus." Sirius breathed heavily against his swollen lips when they'd surfaced, trying desperately to regain the breath that Remus had obviously stolen, "But you're a thief, you've stolen my breath and my heart." He wheezed violently, burying his nose in Remus's neck and inhaling deeply, enjoying the smell of the sandy-haired werewolf, he smelled vaguely like ink and chocolate, with a hint of honey. Sirius vaguely wondered if they made an aftershave like that.

Remus giggled softly and childishly, it was like a harp's melody to Sirius's pierced ears, it lifted his spirits high above his head and mended his broken heart to know that he was the reason behind it all.

"I love you too you great soppy git, but if you call me Remmie again I'll hex your balls off."

**THE END**

**A/N well, that was dramatic, it was supposed to bit slightly angsty (only slightly I promise) but then my mum watched a rerun of ER and it got so dramatic (Lucy died :( rip) and the more dramatic the show became the more dramatic my writing became. But yeah, this happened so yeah. I don't know. Review please! Please! I dunno, do you want me to continue it? There's no real way to continue this is there? Give me your opinions in the reviews!**

**Bye guys!**


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